Family Dynamics

Sometimes getting along is hard to do.  Holding on to faith, hope, and love can be difficult. 

Family life may be blissful or dreadful.  Relationships within families can be troubled and abusive.  Creating relational space temporarily may become necessary.  Thus the foster care system.  Thus separation and divorce.  Thus restraining orders.

How far do you go in attempting to hang on to a relationship with a family member?

How do you set boundaries to safeguard yourself?  (As a first step see Boundaries: When To Say Yes, How To Say No To Take Control Of Your Life.  Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend. 2017)

To whom can you turn for emotional, financial, or legal support?  Does your employer offer an employee assistance program?  Does your school provide counselors?  What agencies and resources are available in your community?

Redefining relationships is necessary work as we grow and change.  Relationships require tune-ups.  Relational dynamics change with age, with knowledge, with experience, with new pressures, with earning power...  Struggles emerge in families that need to be addressed. 

Children are not in a position to question a parent who supplies food, shelter, and clothing.  When a child comes of age; however, that young adult may reassess and redefine how he/she will interact with the unsafe.  

The powerless, whether a child, a dependent spouse or older adult who can no longer manage their own affairs, may be taken advantage of, neglected, or harmed by a relative.

Confront family issues because you care, because you have faith, hope, and love.  Hold that sensitive conversation.  Do some research and reading.  Find available community resources.  Seek therapy or group support.  Get help.  Pray.  

These stories may provide a glimpse as to how individuals process family dysfunction and pain.   

Educated: A Memoir.  Tara Westover.  2018.  childhood

The Glass Castle: a Memoir.  Jeannette Walls. 2017.  childhood

Okay for Now.  Gary D. Schmidt.  2012.  childhood

Trip to Bountiful (Movie/elderly)

Still Alice (Movie/elderly)

  

Mission Control

 "You must get along with each other. You must learn to be considerate of one another, cultivating a life in common."  1 Cor. 1:10

Fighting among ourselves is perennial; it's what people did in the ancient city of Corinth as well as in our world today.  We prefer this person's leadership and views over that one's.  We create factions and categorize the people like us from the strangers over there, who think differently and threaten our control.  

Power struggles undermine the mission.  Let's remind ourselves as Paul did, that only one mission matters.  Let's proclaim the good news that Christ came to set free all who are perishing and who are prisoners of sin.  Think of 'sin' as our various addictions and habits which undermine human flourishing.

"God didn’t send me (Paul) out to collect a following for myself, but to preach the Message of what he has done, collecting a following for him." 1 Cor. 1:17  

Salvation comes through the work of "Christ on the Cross."  Christ paid the penalty required by a holy, righteous God to redeem us, reconcile us, and adopt us into his family.  Christ alone is in charge and sustains the universe.  

Knowing that, we must learn to consider the interests of others and to practice humility in order to exalt Christ.  We must be less concerned about our brand in order to promote his.  We must learn to work together for the sake of establishing God's kingdom.  

For ideas and strategies, see Uncommon Ground:  Living Faithfully in a World of Difference, edited by Timothy Keller, 2020.

Spiritual Adventure Awaits

How will you walk with God in 2021?  A new year deserves a new approach to meeting with God.  
Would you like to start reading one of these Christian devotionals in addition to the Bible? 
Spending time in God's presence produces good fruit and a changed life.
Check out these devotionals from the 1600s to present day, at your library, bookstore, or online.

Celtic Treasure: Daily Scriptures and Prayer. John Philip Newell. 2005

Diamonds in the Dust: 366 Sparkling Devotions. Joni Eareckson Tada. 1993

For the Love of God: Daily Companion for Discovering the Riches of God's Word, Volume One. D. A. Carson. 2006.

God is With You Every Day. Max Lucado.  2015

Gracelaced: Discovering Timeless Truths Through the Seasons of the Heart. Ruth Chou Simons. 2017

Listening to Your Life: Daily Meditations.  Frederick Buechner. 1992

Morning and Evening: A New Edition Based on the Holy Bible, English Standard Version.  Charles Haddon Spurgeon. Alistair Begg. 2003

My Utmost for His Highest: Updated Language. Oswald Chambers. James Reimann. 2017

New Morning Mercies: A Daily Gospel Devotional.  Paul David Tripp.  2014

The One Year Uncommon Life Daily Challenge.  Tony Dungy. Nathan Whitaker.  2011

The Songs of Jesus.  A Year of Daily Devotions in the Psalms.  Timothy and Kathy Keller. 2015

Streams in the Desert. L. B. Cowman and James Reimann.  1999

The Valley of Vision. A Collection of Puritan Prayers and Devotions. Arthur G. Bennett. 1672

You Are the Beloved. Daily Meditations for Spiritual Living.  Henri J. M. Nouwen. 2017

Christian Resources, Winter 2021

WANDER IN WONDER

Take a winter walk.  Notice the sights and sounds around you.  Pray.

 

LISTEN & LEARN

Join the free, lecture and cultural arts January Series from Calvin University in Grand Rapids, MI from January 6, 2021 to January 22, 2021. In its 34th year, this leading series is completely virtual in 2021. Check out these national speakers and their books, including Andy Crouch, Tara Westover...

Registration is required but free in order to receive the link for each presentation. All presentations are live at 12:30 to 1:30 EST. You can also listen anytime that day; then the link times out.

Go to: calvin.edu/january Click: Register

WATCH The 2019/2020 story of Jesus, free on YouTube:  The Chosen.  Season One.  All 8 Full Episodes
Watch for more in 2021 @ Crestview, facilitated by Loel McIntosh.

NEW TESTAMENT BIBLE STUDY GUIDES
Looking for a blend of readable but scholarly background information and discussion questions for yourself or your Bible study group?  Why not use the eBook series in Hoopla from your public library,  
N. T. Wright FOR EVERYONE BIBLE STUDY GUIDE SERIES.

Here’s how it works.   If you have a library card for the MidPointe Library System in Butler County, OH, create a free Hoopla account from their website.  Download the app on your device. Then search and download the guide that interests you.

READ 

Christianity Today’s 2021 Book Awards, “Our picks for the books most likely to shape evangelical life, thought, and culture.” December 14, 2020

LOCAL CHRISTIAN RADIO

93.3.  WAKW

93.7   WFCJ

104.3 WNLT

Contact the Adult Christian Team @ Crestview Church to learn more.

Parenting at Christmas

Our lives take surprising turns.  We don't know what lies ahead.  This is especially true in parenting.

We idealize what having a baby will be like.  A couple starts down that road.  Sometimes birth is textbook easy.  Sometimes parenting begins as a prolonged, expensive, frustrating bout with infertility.  Sometimes tears flow over a miscarriage or stillbirth.  Eventually, miraculously a child is born and joins our family.

We relate to the Christmas story of a young couple, Mary and Joseph, traveling while pregnant.  Conditions were difficult as the couple broke cultural norms.  The trip was risky and lodging was hard to find.  Jesus, their firstborn son was born in Bethlehem, far from home.  They learned to trust God and one another even as shepherds, angels, and magi arrived to rejoice over their son's birth.  

Parenting stretched their faith, as it does ours.  As parents, we act out of love and with courage when called upon.  Jesus was delivered in a stable in a strange city.   (Lk 2:7)  Shortly thereafter the new family fled to Egypt to escape Herod's threat to kill their son, seen as a threat to the throne.  (Matt. 2:13).  During his teen years, the couple panicked when Jesus went missing after celebrating Passover in Jerusalem.  (Lk 2:40-42)  Ultimately, Mary suffered grievously as she watched her son die as a criminal on a Roman cross.  

We mature and change through learning to love a new life.  As demands are made upon us, we learn to sacrifice and serve, to persevere and  provide.  We serve as safety nets when life circumstances endanger our beloved children.  

Why?  When we create new life and watch over a child, we experience blessing.  Our days as parents are filled with deep joy and rich memories which dispel the fear.  Faith in the future with God wins out.

Take a moment to listen to  Mary Did You Know.  Voxtave feat. Mark Lowry. Nov. 4, 2016

Practice Thanksgiving

What matters most to you?  What core values undergird your daily choices?  What gives meaning to your life?  Give thanks for those very important people, places, events, experiences, and ideals.  They counter the alarms that ring in your head and in our stressful world. 

Keep a gratitude journal.  Practice writing 3 things you observe or experience each day, that you are glad about.  Anything that causes you to pause and appreciate, smile, laugh over, or delight in like a beautiful sunset or an affirming conversation.

"Finally, beloved, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is pleasing, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence and if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things."  Phil 4:8

Yes, we all experience stressors in our lives: the Covid-19 pandemic, disputed elections, holiday cautions, unemployment, illness, broken relationships...  Perhaps jotting nightly in a stress journal would prove helpful as a first step in managing stress?  What crisis, heartache, discord, need, or unsolved problem is weighing on you now?  Will you release it to God who loves you unconditionally?  He knows what to do.  He is mighty to save.  His timing is perfect. 

"Cast all your anxiety on him, because he cares for you."  I Pet. 5:7

Hope Emerges from Struggle

Look up to see the maple's red leaves against the blue sky.  Look up to see the shining stars against the black velvet night.  

God spoke the world into existence.  He is bigger than any rocky problem you are facing today.  Keep reminding yourself of that truth. 

Admittedly life can get sad and scary.  When Humpty Dumpty falls from the wall,  life gets messy.  We wonder how and who will put it back together again.  

That's when we need to pull back, slow down, and simplify.  

Cleaning a closet is a process.  Pulling everything out to reorganize, produces piles of stuff everywhere, at first.  Carry on.  Do the next thing.  Wash the walls, patch and paint, choose thoughtfully what goes back in.  Select the stuff that needs to be donated or trashed.  Because as we all know, we can easily become bogged down with old stuff that no longer fits our present life.

Pursuing healing change in habits and relationships is harder still.  Sometimes we need help to make these monumental course corrections.  Ask.  Do the hard work.  Seek abundant life starting now, right where you are.  Jesus promises his presence, power, and peace, no matter how messy the process. 

"And remember, I am with you always, to the end of the age.” Matthew. 28.20   

"For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor rulers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord." Romans 8:38-39