Admittedly, relationships are messy. A friendship or a marriage may start well but deteriorate over time. People change. Individuals look out for their own interests and tend to trample on others, intentionally or unintentionally. All of us bear scars and carry painful memories. We may share these experiences with a trusted few and learn to live in the light. If we stuff them down for years, they may blow one day like shrapnel. Our secret anger, painful burden, or steaming resentment becomes visible.
Listen to your life. Address relational realities. Stop trying to manage your image. Stop pretending, hiding, or covering up. Deal with root problems. When you feel overwhelmed, get help. Seek out help in the person of an experienced counselor. See your pastor. Read scripture and Christian literature. Pray. Practice healthy habits. Take yourself in for a tuneup, in other words.
When we are in better shape, stronger, and healthier biblically-speaking, we are able to be present to others. We stop sizing up someone by what we stand to gain. We are at long last able to build relationships by blessing the other, doing good, and loving actively. We give without expectations of cashing in. Learning to consider the interests of others is a process in leaving selfishness behind. It's an exercise in self-denial and sacrificial love.
"Do nothing from selfishness or conceit, but in humility count others better than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others." Phil. 2:4-5
Will we get honest and own up to doing our part in making relationships happier and healthier? As Christians, we are called to love. (1 Corinthians 13) It's a challenging, lifelong assignment. Look to Jesus to see how he pulled it off. Rely on Holy Spirit power daily to live out a lifestyle of love.
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